Setting Goals to Succeed

Four tips on how you can make any goal into one you can attain

I can’t believe we’re past the first week of January. It’s been a wild week on my end as I worked to set up my projects and tracking while also getting things done, but that actually reminded me to check in with you.

So.

How are you doing? How are the goals going?

If you’ve already given up, I would like a gentle word with you. If you haven’t yet, stick around for a healthy reminder anyway. Cause here goes:

When you set your goals, did you imagine some ideal you, or did you set them for where you are right now?

Most people go with the former, and there are several reasons why that’s a bad idea. To put it bluntly, you’re not the person you imagined you’d be when you said you’d exercise every day, go on that diet, quit smoking, etc. By setting goals for this person who doesn’t exist, you’re setting yourself up to fail, which is super demoralizing…

Especially when you faceplant at the first hurdle.

So as an old hand at this goal-setting thing, I thought I’d share some good principles, in case you’d like to start again or just calibrate your expectations. TL:DR:?

Start Small. Smaller…. Even Smaller.

Recently, I heard a bit of advice that’s relevant here:

Set goals tired.

When you’re tired, you’re a bit more aware of what you’re really capable of right now, which is what you need. Because tired you is the person who’ll be doing the thing you set the goal for. This means there might be a vast difference between what you want compared to what you’re going to do, and that’s okay! The secret sauce is small, incremental changes over time.

Don’t put “gym every day” down as your goal if you haven’t gymmed in years. “5 min of movement per day” or “show up at the gym ever day” might be more realistic. You might think I’m kidding about the second example, but I’m not. If you haven’t gymmed in a while, you won’t even know where to fit gymming into your day.

Simply showing up each day for a week or two works like practice for the main event, while also helping you to sort out your life. Trust me. It’s a lot easier to adjust your life for that big goal if you’re doing it in five minute increments.

Next week, do something for five minutes. The week after that, ten. Eventually, you’ll get to the goal you thought you needed to do at your ideal.

If You Can’t Go Smaller, Play with Your Time Horizon

Sticking to the fitness example because it covers a lot of the stuff I’m talking about. You haven’t gymmed in a decade and you want to show up at the gym every day? That’s not going to happen. Go three times a week, twice a week, once a week. Just get into a rhythm first.

Once you have your initial cadence down, you have two options. Going twice a week, or actually gymming for five minutes once a week. (Set a timer so you don’t overdo it.)

Speaking of your time horizon… You might notice that starting off by only showing up once a week isn’t going to get you to 30 min of moderate exercise every day in a year. So make that a two year goal.

But Misha! I want to be fit and trim sooner, not in two years!

Well… most people aren’t robots and we all know that most gyms build their business models on people who buy the annual membership and then crash out in January because they ignored the power of incremental change over time. Go slow. Be intentional. And keep track of your wins.

Be Realistic about What You Want In the First Place

This isn’t to say your fitness goals aren’t possible at all, but I am saying you need to look at where you are even closer than you did thus far. Why?

Look at me, then look at yourself.

Back at me.

You know why you haven’t been hitting the gym every day for the last decade. Maybe it was an injury. Maybe you have three kids who aren’t going to school yet. Maybe you have vertigo. Or exhaustion. Or whatever else.

None of these are reasons to give up on becoming fit. They are, however, a reason to adjust what you’re expecting of yourself to be more humane. Try walking as a first entry into moving more. Or pick an exercise you can do from home when childcare falls to you. If you have vertigo… try mat pilates. You get the idea.

Figure out your obstacle(s) and then figure out how to get around, over, or under them. I know it’s a weird concept, but stick with me. Research (and honestly my own experience) shows that self-compassion is a much more effective motivator than fear and self-punishment.

Cut Down Any Friction

This continues from my previous tip, but also goes a bit deeper into the nitty gritty. Sometimes, there’s no big reason why you’re not doing the thing. Or maybe there are other tiny reasons that just make it hard, even when it should be something you could overcome if you could only find the right motivation!

The screech you heard was the sound of me rolling my eyes. Trust me. I’ve been there, but motivation is actually a bad motivator. Dopamine and endorphins on the other hand… those are amazing. But first, we need you to get to the point where you can mark your goal as “done” for the day/week.

So we make realistic goals, make them humane… and then if those niggling little things remain, we figure out how to deal with them as best we can.

Prime example? You keep oversleeping when you want to go to the gym.

Consider, if you will, that you need the extra sleep and that’s why you’re snoozing through the billion alarms. Also consider that beating yourself up isn’t going to change you into Action Man.

What will make even showing up to the thing easier? Going to sleep in your gym clothes? Or maybe not going to the gym first thing in the morning? (Or at all?) Why do you have to wake up that early in the first place? Is that something you can sidestep? Think out of the box here because you’re not trying to be Gymbunny Barbie here. You want to do a tiny amount of movement once a week. You don’t have to be perfect about how you get there.

Have a plan for how to get there. Then do it again next time. And again. As you find it’s too easy, up the challenge with higher frequency, more time, or higher intensity. And keep doing that until you have made a habit out of the goal you wanted to achieve.

That’s it. While I used exercise as an example, any goal you have can be made more attainable. Want to write a 1000 words every day? Start by showing up every day for a week first. Then aim for 50 words per day. You want to actually attain the goals you set, even if they’re modest, and ride the dopamine rush up to where you want to get.

This is the way, rather than setting a lofty goal that you give up on in week one. Good luck!

Thoughts? What are your goals and resolutions for the year? How can you make them more realistic and doable?